Recognising Depression in Men: A Personal Reflection and Tips for Support

This year has been an incredibly challenging one for my husband and me—a year filled with life-changing events and more stress than we’ve ever faced before. And while we thought we were holding it all together, the festive period, with all its added pressures, brought everything to a head.

On Boxing Day, my husband experienced an anxiety attack, something neither of us saw coming. It was a wake-up call for both of us, and he realised he needed help. For anyone who’s experienced something similar, you’ll know how humbling and emotional it is to see someone you love face such an overwhelming moment.

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy, family, and celebration, but for many, it can amplify feelings of stress, loneliness, and anxiety. That’s why it’s so important to take time for yourself—to pause, breathe, and recognise when things aren’t okay.

We’ve decided to take proactive steps to support his mental health, including seeking advice from professionals and talking to our GP. But there are also holistic approaches we’ll be exploring, and I wanted to share these in case they can help others.

Holistic Ways to Support Mental Health:

• Mindfulness and Meditation: Taking time to practice mindfulness or guided meditation can help calm the mind and reduce feelings of anxiety. Apps like Calm or Headspace can be a good starting point.

• Physical Activity: Regular exercise, even something as simple as a daily walk, can boost mood by releasing endorphins.

• Journaling: Writing down thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process emotions and find clarity.

• Healthy Nutrition: Eating a balanced diet with mood-supporting foods, like omega-3-rich fish, leafy greens, and nuts, can make a difference.

• Aromatherapy: Essential oils like lavender, bergamot, and frankincense can help promote relaxation and reduce stress.

• Time in Nature: Spending time outdoors, whether it’s a hike, a walk in the park, or simply sitting in the garden, can be grounding and restorative.

• Creative Outlets: Engaging in hobbies like painting, playing music, or cooking can provide a sense of purpose and joy.

Recognising the Signs of Depression in Men

Depression in men can look different from what we might traditionally expect, and it’s often harder for them to open up about how they’re feeling. Here are some signs to watch for:

• Irritability or Anger: Instead of showing sadness, men may express their struggles through frustration or short tempers.

• Withdrawing from Loved Ones: A tendency to isolate themselves from friends and family.

• Loss of Interest: Hobbies or activities they once enjoyed no longer hold appeal.

• Fatigue or Sleep Issues: Feeling constantly tired or struggling with insomnia.

• Physical Symptoms: Unexplained aches, pains, or digestive issues can sometimes signal depression.

• Difficulty Concentrating: Struggling to focus or make decisions.

• Risky Behaviours: Increased reliance on alcohol, drugs, or other risky activities to cope.

• Feeling Hopeless: Expressing feelings of being trapped, worthless, or having no way out.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

One of the hardest things for men is acknowledging when they need help. There’s still so much societal pressure to be "strong" or to not show vulnerability but asking for help is one of the bravest things anyone can do.

As we begin this journey together, I’ve reminded myself of the importance of self-care too. You can’t pour from an empty cup and looking after yourself ensures you’re able to provide the support your loved one needs.

To anyone else going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. The path to healing isn’t always straightforward, but every step—big or small—makes a difference.